Actual Meaning Of Words

Jokes

• CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco 
rolled in paper 
with fire at one end 
and a fool at the other!
• MARRIAGE: It's an agreement 
wherein 
a man loses his bachelor degree 
and a woman gains her master
• DIVORCE: Future Tense 
of Marriage
• LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information 
from the notes of the lecturer 
to the notes of students 
without passing through the minds 
of either
• CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man 
multiplied by the 
number present
• COMPROMISE: The art of dividing 
a cake in such a way that 
everybody believes 
he got the biggest piece
• TEARS: The hydraulic force by which 
masculine will power is 
defeated by feminine water-power!

• DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes 
before marriage
• CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, 
nobody listens 
and everybody disagrees later on
• ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel 
you are going to feel 
a feeling 
you have never felt before
• CLASSIC: A book 
which people praise, 
but never read 


SMILE: 
A curve 
that can set 
a lot of things straight
• OFFICE: A place 
where you can relax 
after your strenuous 
home life 


YAWN: 
The only time 
when some married men 
ever get to open 
their mouth
• ETC: A sign 
to make others believe 
that you know 
more than 
you actually do
• COMMITTEE: Individuals 
who can do 
nothing individually 
and sit to decide 
that nothing can be done 
together
• EXPERIENCE: 
The name 
men give 
to their 
Mistakes 


ATOM BOMB: 
An invention 
to bring an end 
to all 
inventions
• PHILOSOPHER: A fool 
who torments himself 
during life, 
to be spoken of 
when dead 


DIPLOMAT: 
A person 
who tells you 
to go to hell 
in such a way 
that you actually look forward 
to the trip
• OPPORTUNIST: A person 
who starts taking bath 
if he 
accidentally falls 
into a river
• OPTIMIST: A person 
who while falling 
from EIFFEL TOWER 
says in midway 
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
• PESSIMIST: A person 
who says that 
O is the last letter 
in ZERO, 
Instead of the first letter 
in OPPORTUNITY
• MISER: A person 
who lives poor 
so that 
he can die RICH!
• FATHER: A banker 
provided by 
nature
• CRIMINAL: A guy 
no different 
from the other, 
unless he gets caught
• BOSS: Someone 
who is early 
when you are late 
and late 
when you are early
• POLITICIAN: One who 
shakes your hand 
before elections 
and your Confidence 
Later
• DOCTOR: A person 
who kills 
your ills 
by pills, 
and kills you with
his bills.